The Morning After

Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash

Anxiety cocktail
shame blended with self-loathing
shaken beliefs

Ain’t nothing slippery
about this slope
not
a
drop
of
water
in
sight
me myself the desert

Feel every wall In the room at the same time
leftover Mexican food and menthol cigarettes
light from the computer
porn playing on repeat
reflection in window screen

Pacing the streets
voices in competition
winner of a participation ribbon in mind repetition

X drinks = Y days
simple math
sorry out of commission
physical emotional motion sickness

Do I want to do this again
want
to
do
this
again
(don’t
want
to
do
this
again)

Self-esteem plummets to its knees
pleads I will not be alright
not
today
Jesus
not
today

Excuse me, bartender?
vodka on the rocks please
make it a double

-pencil & ashes